Craziest Diets {Caley Jade}

 Last, but not least, in the crazy diets series is the beautiful Caley-Jade and she is going to tell you about her kooky adventures in trying to shake it off. As I mentioned before, these posts were supposed to go up during our honeymoon - but blogger sucks, so it didn't. Thus the intro might be a bit confusing, but I'm not changing it, because you can't change art ;p

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Hi sweet friends,

As you read this, our gorgeous friend Megan will now be a Mrs and enjoying her honeymoon (envious of her holiday break!) but so excited for them both! CONGRATS again guys - we can't wait to hear all about it! I am Caley and I blog over at Ellie Love.

I am slightly nervous but also a little excited to tell you about my crazy diet story (well actually, I have two short stories for you!)

Both of these story's were from my one year stint in London in 2008 as I was blessed to grow up relatively skinny and not having to worry about my weight. But as a new Saffa in London, I soon became a statistic, falling prey to the infamous Heathrow injection (i.e.: the weight you put on just by landing in the country!) It is s true, it happens. And i watched it scarily unfold in the short year that I graced mud island with my presence.

So after gaining a few extra kilo's, a friend and I decided we would try:

 Diet #1: Soup Diet

This is a 7 day crash diet where all you eat is soup.

Yes... only soup!

Soup for breakfast, soup for lunch and soup for dinner. Soup as a snack, soup as a drink and soup for dessert too.

How positively naive could we be?? Not that stupid actually, because it worked!! We lost 4-6kgs each in that week but we put it straight back in the next week!! Epic fail!

Unless you want to be really unhealthy, always feel tired (and mildly depressed) or fit into that tiny dress for one night only.

My verdict: I will never do it again.

Source

Diet #2: Weight Watchers

(this is in no way a reflection of the programme itself)

How this works is you follow a healthy living plan with diet (allocated by points for each meal) and an allocated total allowance each day. We signed up for the monthly programme, we got the booklets and recipes and we reported in each week for our weigh in. 

We couldn't understand where the catch was - we could eat whatever we wanted as long as we didn't exceed our points! But we soon learnt that we couldn't pig out on one really bad meal and use up all our points for the day and then starve ourselves. This leaves you tired and hungry and defeats the whole point - therefore also resulting in us not losing much weight at all.

Verdict: You have to do it properly. We didn't even last the month!

Moral of the story after both these crazy crash diets. Follow a healthy eating plan and healthy, balanced lifestyle and I truly believe in everything in moderation. As hard as it may be, try not put too much pressure on yourself either, enjoy life and be happy with who you are.

Thanks for having me Meg, and I look forward to getting to know all your lovely readers through this guest post.

Caley x

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Do you have a crazy diets story that you would like to share? Email me at waitingformeg@gmail.com

I will be more than happy to share it!

The craziest diets {Gaelyn Cokayne}

Today, I am very excited to share a post by a little hottie - Miss Gaelyn - who came across my path while I was on my own weight loss journey. Blogging at Heart of Iron and sharing tips and inspiration at A New Weigh, this iron-lady inspired me by her amazing story. Now, she is sharing her craziest diet fad ever. Quite a funny story!

 

Well this is actually a post I’m not entirely proud to share with the public, but it is one that I think certainly needs to be shared so that nobody else ever feels this desperate! (And nobody ever acts as stupidly!)

In 2010 I started to really see my body for what it had become, for what I had made it. A fat, cellulite ridden, unhealthy, unfit body that served me in no positive way. I was at risk of developing high blood pressure and cholesterol as well as diabetes. I knew that if I fell pregnant at that weight I would be classed as “High Risk” as obesity increases your risk of miscarriage. I knew I needed to change, and fast.

I have always loved exercise, so knew that would be a good place to start. I joined the gym and started working out a few times a week. Unfortunately I hadn’t yet learned the importance of including the right diet too – and so began to get very frustrated with my lack of results. One of the trainers at the gym I attended mentioned that some of the ladies had experienced great success with various pills. All of them were illegal; you can’t just buy them at a pharmacy or health shop. I was convinced that without them I would not lose weight either. Who wouldn’t want a tablet to do the hard work for them?

Enter the following: Clenbuterol. This is a drug used for asthmatic patients, which is known to increase your internal heat and metabolism therefore resulting in weight loss. It is a prescription medication that is actually banned in some countries. It is extremely addictive (I did not know that at the time!) And has side effects like excessive sweating (gross), palpitations, tremors and body pain. I started taking it, and despite getting the shakes am very relieved that I did not experience anything else. In one month I didn’t really see any great changes, and it was expensive – so I stopped it. (How crazy that my reason for stopping was not the DANGER!!)

I also tried F#*K off Fat: It contains various random “natural products” but the one that really surprised me is Yohimbine. This is a BANNED substance in South Africa!! F off Fat is marketed (obviously underground) as a pill for the “Yummy Mummies”. Surprisingly it is most popular in the Eastern Cape of all places. Again it was hard to find listed ingredients and side effects documented anywhere so I knew I would have to just give it a go! I didn’t feel any side effects at all to be honest, and lost no weight. (Again a harsh reality that no pill will do the work for you!)

After both of these failed to “Fix Me” I was considering something that some fitness models and body builders used, an injection you administered yourself shortly before you work out. The day I came home from gym to start researching this, is the day that I had a reality slap across the face! Was I seriously considering INJECTING myself with a dodgy drug to target stubborn areas of fat???? I would NEVER do drugs like cocaine or ecstacy, but I considered this? Holy smokes Gaelyn!!!!

And just like that I packed away the bottles of random dodgy and ineffective tablets, and decided that when I did lose weight, I would do it on my own. The only medicine I used would be my food, I would journal my way through my issues, and I would do it safely. And 35kg later I am proud to say that I HAVE found a winning formula! No pills, no shakes, no illegal, no undercover, no tremors, no sweating (apart from the good exercise kind) and no risk!!

Thanks so much Meg for allowing me the opportunity to share my experiences, I really do hope it will stop another woman from venturing into that side of things, and choose to rather stick to a healthy balance of diet and exercise! 

 

Told you she's a total hottie! 

The craziest diets {indieberries}

Hi everyone, these posts were supposed to go up during my honeymoon, during which I needed something to keep you busy while I was away. You can't trust a scheduled post. None the less, first up I have the ridiculously talented and hilarious Che, all the way from Indieberries to tell you about her craziest diet. She has posted this on her blog before, but it just too funny not to share again. Take it away Che!

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(valid question)

also (this one site) says "it's good for you!"

So we decided to embark on the MASTER CLEANSE. We changed the name to the MAPLE SYRUP CLEANSE. Because it's more friendly that way.


Then we went shopping for our supplies for the next ten days.
SIDE NOTE: grocery shopping for the next ten days when you are only buying bulk maple syrup, cayenne pepper and salt is not that fun.


Next step: perfect your concoction -

it really looked like that.

remember, there is no food.

(Also, you will notice that our expressions have not changed - conserve energy. vital.)

This sounds very simple.

- just give it a go.

This is like the OCEAN. in your mouth. THE OCEAN.

Me: You're kidding.
Kristi: We gotta do it.
Me: why?
Kristi: Because we can't chug the salt.
Me: but why do we need the salt?! why?!
Kristi: Because there isn't anything to get the rotten food out. We need something to force it out. so that we can be CLEANSED you know. That's the whole point.
Me: I don't want to.
Kristi: Beyonce did it.
(silence)
Me: ok fine then.

Don't worry we practiced the mime for constipation very thoroughly before we arrived at the chemist.

and then, in perfect American English:

yes, the onlookers were on-looking.

Using our limited combined Korean vocab, we were actually able to ask literally for the "master-of-poo-tea" and indeed we got it. Salt water can FLUSH MY ASS.

After getting our lovely laxative tea - we continued on the MAPLE SYRUP CLEANSE for the next 6 days. During which time, we experienced migraines, faintness, blurred vision, sensitive teeth due to maple syrup, constricted throats due to lemon juice, perhaps some strange poop, if you even poop at all. oh, and the hunger... did i mention that? At some point during the cleanse slow death, food begins to talk to you in a faint whisper, telling you how wonderful it is. Non-food objects become wildly appealing.

(this really happened)

You will think things such as, "i know I'm not allowed to have any extra food... but what if i just nibble on that piece of paper.....kristi?... would that be ok?". Your friends will tell you that you are insane. You will think they are trying to SABOTAGE you. (they are not. they really just think you are insane).

Eventually you reach DAY 10:

At the end of the ten days, you will most likely have lost half a head of hair, developed toxin-induced skin rashes, cayenne-pepper stomach ulcers and lost about 4 kilograms. it's not pretty.

but, on the other hand, you will always be able to say:

*The end*

only read if you are interested in the maple syrup cleanse:

* * * * * *    MAPLE SYRUP CLEANSE    * * * * * *

What I learnt doing the Maple Syrup (Master) Cleanse:


(Disclaimer: I actually steered off the Maple Syrup Cleanse after day 8 and starting drinking orange juice instead of the maple syrup concoction - see why below.)

• There are drastic and "quick" (if you consider "quick" being ten days) ways of losing a bunch of weight. In my opinion (which is not professional) you will lose weight. (Let me remind you though that TEN days with no food, does not go "QUICK"). You will also put it back on very quickly.
• Eating is extremely social and if you are not acutely aware of this already - then you will really become aware of it when you have to turn down dinner dates and get togethers because there is no point in spending your entire evening at a restaurant or friends house just smelling the air around you. It will make you hungry, miserable and unsociable.
• Without food, you will be grouchy. Even if you are usually Little Miss Sunshine. There is no way around this. 
• There is some critical point that when you pass it, you will feel like it's not really that bad and that you could do it for a while and be content. I think this day came around day 4 or day 5 for me.
• You will become very aware of how many (excess) calories people consume around you and how little calories are actually needed for basic survival. This is actually very liberating and probably the most beneficial thing I got out of the cleanse.
• You will be SICK of the taste of Maple syrup and Lemon juice. Because we live in a world were there are so many diverse flavours and tastes and rich food experiences, You will see how quickly your body becomes sick of one flavour. Hence the switch to orange juice - day 8.
• Your teeth will become sensitive. You will definitely experience headaches at some point.
• You will feel some warped sense of accomplishment. 
• If you are usually a very active person, you will feel frustrated at having to lower your activity levels.
• Your general perception towards food will change.

I am not going to put a link to any maple syrup cleanses because I don't believe or advocate it as a healthy dieting/cleansing option. If you want to try it, you can google it, you will find it. Let me know how it goes for you :) Don't die.