Seeing fashion from a different point of view

On Wednesday, I attended an event at the Witwatersrand University in Johannesburg. I was wearing grey skinny jeans, black cut out Woolies wedges, a lacy black top and a little short sleeve jacket. I felt corporate. I paired it with my newly dyed dark loose hair, an owl necklace and big silver earrings. I felt pretty.

And then I got onto campus. I felt old. And I'm only 23, a third of the students at Wits are about my age, some of them even older. But the majority was young, fearless. Fearless with fashion that is. I was envious.

We have Spring! Thursday was the first day of Spring, and boy could you see it in the clothes these students were wearing. What are those pants that look like Aladin's? It seems that everyone was wearing it, paired with a beautiful bright scarf and a nice floraly top and cute flats. I gaped at most of the students, some of them wearing gorgeous flowing dresses and others wearing playsuits. I was jealous. I was in awe. I wanted to rip off all my clothes and dress like a student again. 

One morning this week, my status on Facebook read: "One week my clothes are all like: "oh, we love your body, you look so nice in us," and the following week it says "We're not feeling you today." No compromise, no peace talks, no negotiations. Just war between fat and cloth." And it makes me feel sad that when I try to dress cute and try out different outfits it all looks awry and weird on me. I'm too tall, my bust is too big, my frame is too wide. Nothing ever fits nicely. And then I also have a scar on my shoulder that makes me self conscious about wearing short or no sleeve tops. 

But I decided to use these students as my inspiration. I will work so hard on my body, until there is almost nothing left and I too can wear cute outfits. I will work really hard. This Spring is my Spring!