Keeping your name after the I Do's

Newly engaged women, and those ebbing closer to their wedding day, seem to be torn between keeping their maiden name and taking their husband's. Now this phenomenon, although modern, is not new.

On the one side of the fence, it seems that a lot of women are embracing the big change - and the accompanying administration.  In 2011, TheKnot.com surveyed 19,000 newlywed women and found that only 8 percent kept their last names; 86 percent took their husbands' names, with the remaining 6 percent presumably modifying or hyphenating. This figure might have changed to even less in the past two years.

A friend of mine has sworn that he wouldn't marry his girlfriend if she didn't take his name, and even Flip has uttered this notion. It must be a pride thing. Some women opt for the double barrel name, but I don't think that mixing an English and Dutch surname would go down so well, besides, it would be far tooo long. Wait-Van Wyngaardt. Could you imagine?

Now, I am going to take my fiance's name when we marry, but I am considering keeping my surname for professional reasons, and to avoid pure frustration. A lot of people struggle to spell my surname at the moment, and it's just a simple W-A-I-T. Even if I explain it as, yes my surname is Wait, as in wait a minute, people still struggle to comprehend and, when I was still going to events- before deskjob editor came along -  I would find beauties on my name tags - Weight, White, Waite.

How frustrating would it be if I have to explain and spell out Van Wyngaardt a million times?

I also feel like it allows me to keep a bit of my maiden identity, if I keep my maiden name for business only. 

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picture via here

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How do you feel about the name keeping thing? Chuck it, or keep it?

Conversations with Flip

I love reading the really funny things Megan, over at Across the Pond, and her English now-husband come up with in conversation. It made me a little more attentive to things Flip say, because he always says the weirdest and funniest things. These are some of the very strange things that comes to mind.

{Our house is on a corner with two stop signs. One Sunday night I got a bit irate}

M: It's late, why are there so many cars driving past our house at this time?

F: They all went to buy McFlurries, my love. 

{While blowdrying my hair, my ring gets tangled in my hair, so I take it off. Enter Mila}

M: Baby, we nearly had to schedule an emergency operation with Mila's vet appointment this afternoon. She almost swallowed my ring.

F: Well, then you would have had to carry Mila on your finger all day.

{While preparing dinner}

M: The potatoes are ready, will you please mash them?

F: Mash. Mash. Mash. Mash. You can just call me Lionel Mashi.

{While on the topic of food, one evening I made boerewors}

F: Look what I found in my can of sweet corn. 

{Boerewors pieces sticking out of can}

{On Facebook}

My status: You know it's time for a haircut when your hair gets too heavy and it hurts when you put it in a bun. 

Flip comments: Don't you have food? Why are you putting your hair in a bun?

Our Valentine's day

Between Valentine's Day, work, following Oscar Pistorius's court case, who allegedly murdered his girlfriend in the early hours of Valentine's {which for some reason has captivated everyone in South Africa, no really, this is all we talk about}, daydreaming about my wedding - and planning it, attending premarital preparation classes and doing the homework, I just haven't had the time to update my little platform on the shiny thing called internet.

Anywho, I still want to share what I did for Flip for the day of love, and what he gave to me, because love should be shared!

I stood up really early that morning to make Flip breakfast in bed, complete with a tomato sauce heart. I also got him a trio of dark chocolate cigars filled with Remy Martin brandy, but replaced the middle chocolate cigar with a really real cigar!

And while Flip didn't give me something the minute my eyes opened, which is of great chagrin to me, he did hand deliver these gorgeous flowers at the office for me! Very romantic, isn't it? 

The evening was topped off by red wine and sushi on the living room floor, an indoor picnic of sorts. Who needs overly planned, overly expensive and hot air balloons {hahaha} when all you need is good foo, great company and the heart of the one you love?

Ice Cream in Parkhurst

Today's post is brought to you in pain. I, a {pretty responsible} twenty-five year old threw caution to the wind on Saturday and moshed and headbanged into the early hours of Saturday. What? They were playing some of my favourite rock songs! I pretended to be a groupie and just went mad. Needless to say, I spent an hour or two, while the others were partying, with my head on my handbag - my neck too sore to even lift up.

That afternoon was much nicer though and Flip treated me to some delicious handmade ice cream, that his company delivers all the way from Cape Town. I got myself the Butter Scotch flavoured Nice Cream, while Flip opted for the Chocolate Nice Cream. We drove all the way to Mellisa's in Parkhurst for the treat and made a day out of it, dogs included.

While my ice cream tasted like it was made by angels, Flip's had an awful egg aftertaste. Perhaps that explains the face.

The two main streets of the suburb, 4th and 6th are always a hive with activity, the one providing a culinary side, with little shops tucked in between, while the other is scattered with design and interior decorating shops.

The tree-lined streets are definitely my favourite feature and makes for a lovely walk! The dogs loved it too!

PS: seeing as this was an update on my weekend, I'm linking up with Sami for Weekend Update.

Fifty things

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I found this on LoveTaza.com, she did this post way back in 2008. It's a sweet way to relive all the highlights and things you know about each other. You should try it, and if you do, link up in the comments so I can check it out! :) 

50 things about us:

1.    He is all logic, but sometimes can’t make logic conclusions.

2.    She is all creativity.

3.    Therefore, she can’t do math.

4.    We live in a yellow house.

5.    She nags him to be more talkative.

6.    He wishes she would cook more often.

7.    She can’t cook.

8.    We have two dogs, named Mila (a Staffie) and Jethro (a Jack Russell)

9.    She lives for music.

10. He won’t reveal whether Jethro has been named after Jethro Tull (the band) or Jethro Gibbs (NCIS).

11. We are best friends.

12. She can’t live without him.

13. He can’t live without tomato sauce.

14. We fart in front of each other. (teehee)

15. He knows that when she is grumpy she is either hungry or sleepy.

16. She blushes at this admission.

17. We have the same sense of humour.

18. He doesn’t think so.

19. Because she doesn’t laugh at his jokes (but inside, our humour is exactly the same)

20. She is a bit of a slob, with OCD

21. He is a bit of OCD, with a side order of slob.

22. We have a cleaner. Thank goodness for that.

23. He asked for her hand in marriage at a waterfall. The waterfall wasn’t on.

24. She never takes off her ring and cannot get it over her heart to have it resized, even if its too small.

25. She has very light body hair, so doesn’t shave her legs for a long time (slob!)

26. He looks handsome with facial hair.

27. We already picked out a name for a girl – should we have a baby someday.

28. He took her to a sushi restaurant on their first date.

29. She refused to eat sushi before that date. Now, she’s addicted.

30. We eat Kung Fu Kitchen sushi at least three times a month.

31. He accidentally said ‘I love you’ when she dished up for him at a party.

32. She was so shocked that she sat quietly next to her best friend for the remainder of the evening.

33. We attended this friend’s funeral in September.

34. He eats beet salad on bread. And crinkle cut chips. And French fries.

35. She eats toast with butter – that must be melted.

36. Sometimes he dips her when she wants a kiss. (so romantic)

37. He is addicted to Coca Cola.

38. She hasn’t had soda in 14 years. Then she met him.

39. She walks into rooms and forgets why she went in there.

40. He always knows where her car keys, cellphone, purse or handbag might be.

41. We have been officially dating for two years and eight months.

42. She likes to send him pictures from inside dressing rooms before she buys anything.

43. We both adore nature.

44. He doesn’t like zoos.

45. He does like French fries and can eat them every day.

46. She cries in church services, particularly at Christenings.

47. He rolls his eyes when this happens

48. He leaves lights on in the house, which in a sense, is good because

49. She is afraid of the dark.

50. We are getting married in nine months.

 One of our very first photos together.

The book of love: the next chapter

"I love it when you give me things

and you

you ought to give me wedding rings"
-The book of love by Peter Gabriel

On Saturday, November 24, Flip went down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Of course I said yes! I feel a bit guilty, because we had a disagreement in the morning and had a little tiff, Flip went for a drive, to pick up eggs and bread for breakfast {little did I know that he was going to pick up the ring and phone my mom to trick me into going somewhere}.

As I just mentioned, my mom phoned me and came up with a story that there was some horticultural expo at the Botanical Gardens in Pretoria and that we had to join them because a tree that she bought Flip died from trauma after Mila ate it and there was going to be a lunch included, what have you. I phone Flip, he says its fine we can go. {I should have known something was up here, because Flip doesn't just easily agree to do something, especially when it includes gardening. I did have a little hunch.}

 So eventually when we get there, it is raining, I don't see my parents' car anywhere and neither do I see signs of this expo, so I'm getting a little bit suspicious. After walking in circles {and on a mountain trail, where we saw dassies} to where he thinks it might be, we end up ironically close to a waterfall, inside a rain forest. We had to stop a few times while walking to catch my breath, because I was still reeling from the cold I had earlier. But the walk was so nice. Flip kept on bringing up highlights of our relationship. "Do you remember that time we walked in a real rain forest in Mpumalanga? Or that time when..." Going down memory lane was a solid reminder of why I was so in love with Flip and the long journey that we have already taken together. 

Anyway, when we finally reached the waterfall we found that it was not working. I'm ready to walk on and Flip asks if I'm in a hurry, noticing how lovely the spot where we were standing looks. He joked that my parents are at the bottom of the waterfall and that I had to call to them, so I did. "Your parents aren't here," he said and then he went down on one knee and asked "Megan, will you marry me?" I put my handbag down and starting crying. I said yes and Flip said "Well would you mind taking the ring now so I can get up?"  He put the ring on my finger and we kissed. And I cried all the time.

The sad thing is that we didn't get any photos, because there was no one around to take photos and we also didn't take our cellphones. But I am now the future Mrs van Wyngaardt and our love story will keep on growing.

Ad infinitum

The book of love: the middle part

   The book of love is full of facts and figures and lessons on dancing. Did you know that Flip can't dance? I'm also not willing to teach him, my toes have suffered too much for that. But perhaps we will join a dance class.

Did you know that the guy I reffered to in the last post was not Flip? No, oh no, this guy {if you missed it, read over here} was a creep and just served for a couple of good laughs between friends and I. I digress and picking up where I left off, I was looking for the a new flatmate, and a few people came to have a lookm, but nothing came of it.

Then one day, another guy answers the ad. We organise a looksee for the cottage and he decides to move in the very next day. Let us call him Dr No for all blogging purposes. So Dr No and I get along great, become friends, I develop a crush {oh yes I did} and get introduced to his friends, among them Flip. I like twists, huh?

But before Flip and I even met, Dr No showed me some pictures on his computer and I stopped at this one picture and blurted out loud: "who is that hot guy and when are you introducing him to me?" Introductions soon followed and Flip fell in love with me.

But then we didn't see each other for about three months. He says I did something to upset him at a braai. I don't recall any of it. But he just couldn't resist and had to see me again.

The unofficial, joke story, of how Flip fell in love was when he was teasing me about my crush and I stabbed him with a fork in the leg. Not long after that, I received a message on facebook from Flip. "Hi, I'm going to be honest. I think you are awesome. And hot. that is all for now." I didn't reply, but was enamored by the message. I gave him my number through Dr No and we messaged each other.

A few days, or perhaps weeks, later I was asked on our first date. Flip took me for sushi, and I have never eaten sushi before. I also had no plans to eat it. But now i'm addicted. We also shared our first kiss that night.

About two weeks into the whole dating scenario, a friend of mine came over to colour my hair and Flip was banned from seeing me, because when is it ever pretty when colouring is involved. My flatmate sneaked in during the colouring session, and I thought something was up. We were sitting in the living room and when I went to my room, after washing the colour out, what did I find?

On my bed there lay 44 roses, 22 white and 22 deep red long stem roses. I might have started crying, because this was the first time any guy did something like this for me. And of course, I was smitten, head-over-heels in love with Flip. Still am to this day. Wouldn't you be?

And you know what the best thing is? The flowers never stopped coming. Flip loves to surprise me at work with a massive bunch of flowers and he loves to surprise me with little things that have meaning to us.

One last thing for today. You know when you have the talk, about whether you are becoming an exclusive couple or not? Flip asked me like this: "Miss Wait, shareholders in Van Wyngaardt and company have decided that you would be a significant asset to the company and we can see great growth with you as a partner. Would you like to enter this transaction?"

More coming tomorrow!

The book of love: the prequel

Every time The book of love by Peter Gabriel starts playing my iTunes, I curse. Like someone with tourettes. It's usually along the lines of "shit, dammit, I love this song!" Yes, I'm paradoxical like that. This isn't the only that stirs me up, for example, One Day by Elbow, Tomorrow by James and a whole array of other songs has me churning out cursewords of joy.

Anyway, Peter Gabriel croons that the book of love is long and boring and that no one can lift the damn thing. I hope that our book of love is too big and heavy to lift, but long and boring? Heck no.

Take for example the story of how we met. I believe in things like fate, but I also like to believe that our love story is also all part of God's plan. Thinking back to a little more than two and a half years ago, I am sure that this was wall part of my bigger picture.

So where do I start? Perhaps here. I was fresh out of varsity, first year worker, living in a two bedroom garden cottage with my aunt. The daunting reality of being in a new city, without any friends there and my boyfriend miles and miles away was getting to me. I had anxiety attacks like some people have food, constantly. My then boyfriend became an ex. And I no longer believed in love.

Moving along, I was soon also looking for a new flatmate as my aunt had decided to move and a friend of mine wanted to move in. As Murphy would have it, on the day she had to move in, she could no longer. I was stuck and would not be able to pay the rent on my own.

So I put out an ad on Gumtree and Junkmail {its pretty much like Craig's list} for a flatmate and got a few answers. One included a guy whose answer read: "I would treat you like a princess every day of your life and do anything you would like me to do. I would look after you and cook for you..." Something along the lines of that. He also attached a photo.

Want to know more about this guy? Read on tomorrow.

book of love peter gabriel mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

We are moving!

This is mine. Not only is it mine. It is ours. It is Flip and I's first house. That we bought. Together!

We have signed the papers earlier this month, but I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post about the house yet, as I was (still am) not a fan of how the house is painted and didn't want to blog about it until I got all the colours under control. And as you can see, the stupid lazy-ass municipality didn't want to do maintenance in the region, so they decided to tar everyone's pavements. I hate this! It's so morbid and ugly and..and I need everything to be green, not black damn it. With respect to The Rolling Stones.

However, I will remain positive! This not only gives me free reign to let loose on my creative side and go crazy with my mad inherited gardening skills and creative ideas, but also a number of blog posts to come up in the new year of befores and afters as I make over our new house into a dream home! Who's with me?

I'm planning to break up the tar in the front, if the municipality gives me the permission, and create a gorgeous, lush garden with lavender, agapanthus, crawlers, ground covers, a few lollipop trees and a heck load of grass! As for the colours I want to paint the house and walls, I will keep that under wraps for now.

Pros of the house is pretty much everything! Including a lovely view over the city, as it was built on a hill (as you can detect from the slope of the wall). We are moving in at the end of January and in the meantime I am forcing all my loved ones to buy me vouchers for paint or decorating stores for my birthday, which is this Saturday.

No, it's not vain, it's smart!

(PS: I stepped on a bee yesterday running around in my mom's garden. It still hurts like hell.)

To my Valentine, a heart that is forever yours...

I love you more and more every day! 

Be forever my Valentine?

To my future husbandguy

My beau has been away this whole week on a business trip and I absolutely hate it. I have a foolhardy little fear of being alone or even worse, being alone in the dark. And although I had a friend of mine stay over this week to keep me company, unforeseen circumstances came up and I was left to my own musings of what goes on in the flat after dark.

Living in a complex doesn't aid in the flat being less spooky, as sound travels through every crack and whispers through every keyhole in a 5x8 square meter area. (kidding about the size, I have no idea how big it is). I did not bat an eye last night!

So to the guy I'm going to marry some day, I hate it when you are gone for so long! And I love you.

Tribute to the greatest dog in the world

I know that everyone loves to say how their dog is the smartest thing on earth and how they know all the tricks in the book and everything that goes with great dogs. Well, I would like to tell you about my mutt, my little beautiful rottweiller x staffie which understands every single word spoken to her.

I got Liefie as condolence present from my Dad in 2000, after my dog Lola was stolen. A colleague’s staffie had been slutting around and out came the most atrocious things (according to the colleague). The first thing I did when I got her was cry. Balling my eyes out! She was the most beautiful thing, so tiny, so round, such lovely beady black eyes! I fell in love!

At first, I dubbed her Roxy. But after calling, and her responding to, Liefiekind and Liefiewoef, my family decided that she should hail Liefie. And being the stubborn 12-year old that I was, I insisted that she should be trained. The best choice of my life. Not only were the dog trained, but her owner as well. It helped me understand dogs better, even though I am secretly a dog whisperer. (My mom always said that I am absolutely fearless when it comes to dogs, even holding tightly onto a growling rottweiller).

But coming back to the centre of the story, Liefie certainly has a personality of her own and will throw little tantrums when she does not get her way. For instance, she loves biting the water as my mom waters the garden. Now, being an old dog with a bit of arthritis, my mom has outlawed water biting! Her response to try and tell my mom how frustrated she is, is to bite the grass and pull out lumps of grass and mouthfuls of ground at the same time. She then stomps on the grass with her front paws and starts clawing at it, until she gets her way. Little Brat! But I love my love to pieces and I have never loved a dog as much as I love my Liefie. She is an absolute angel!

She also loves her ball! From the minute you open your eyes, to the minute you go to sleep, she will put the ball in front of you because she wants to play! 

The other love of my life, right there

This is when I still had dark hair. I sometimes can't decide whether I want to be blonde or dark haired, but either way I always want the opposite of what I have.

The love of my life, right there