things I hate about the gym

Monday, November 12, 2012

I will not be the first one to speak about this, but there are a few things I hate about going to the gym. It ruins the fun experience and just annoys the living weights out of me. Luckily, I listen to my music most of the time and don't catch these annoying things, but when I forget my earphones, I am subjected to some of the most atrocious crimes of gymming.

1. The surprised people. The girl or guy who sees someone in the gym and proclaims loudly: OMG! What are you doing here? I would reply with something like: "you know, just attending my pet fish's funeral."

2. The stupid fat people. In no way or manner am I picking on fat people, or saying that all fat people are dumb. But I have noticed, from obnoxiously loud conversations, that the same overweight people who love to tell people how fat they are and how nothing that they do actually works, are the same ones I always see walking around meaninglessly and are the same ones who never gets on the equipment. Perhaps that's where you are going wrong.

3. Burpees. Damn them to hell, I hate them! But they work, people. They actually work, I should just get myself to do more of them, because normally I want to start crying after 5.

4. The guys. Not all of them, most guys are cool and not at all irritating. But I'm sure you know the ones I'm talking about. The one who says "jeezlike, I'm going to burn some steel today, hey." or "That oke didn't stand a chance, I would have..." and then follows a number of ugly Afrikaans cursewords. Finally, the ones who flex at themselves in the mirror and says "check my guns, hey. I'm mighty fine, hey". Yes, they really exist. And yes, I think my gym has the biggest concentrate of them in the universe. 

5. The couple. Guys, it is okay to gym with your other half, but let go. This is not a date, you can let go of his hand, she will be okay without you. 

6. The pretend personal trainer. {I might be guilty of this, but only in a joking way} The people who try to tell you that you are doing something wrong and that you should be doing something this way. Okay, I'm so guilty of this, but only with my friends and never with someone I don't know.

7. The unbelievably gorgeous girl. Just because I'm jealous. I have seen a few of them at my gym, so pretty and so fit. She doesn't even break out in a sweat, and afterwards, she meets her friends at the restaurant or coffee shop just outside the gym for dinner or drinks. Damn you.

8. The hogger. You and I pay the same price to use the same equipment, but time is also money so move the eff along to the next thing and stop being such an ass. If the equipment says max 20 minutes during peak hours, then do your 20 and move on

What are some of the stuff that drives you against the walls when going to gym?


Mrs FF said...

Finding a parking space, the ladies who spend 20 minutes changing in the toilet because they don't want to seen naked and sweaty people using equipments and not wiping after they are done (sorry gross I know)

Interestingly of late I find I would rather walk 5km outdoors than 1km on the treamill :)

helen said...

omgoodness these are hilarious...and include some of the reasons why i don't go to the gym and prefer to exercise in the confines of my own home...or local track. :)

Sheila@TheFailteHouse said...

Haha, great minds thinks a like :) I would like to go to the gym with you one day and have you narrate, haha. Let's see, when I used to got a "regular" gym I did not like how everyone was working out, and no one said hi!

Kate said...

How funny! I go to the gym at my university (after having gone to a "normal" gym for most of my college career) and almost all of these are ten times worse at the university gym!

Jillian said...

Omg, hysterical! I tend to agree with #4. Some of these guys...I don't know. One time, this guy was trying so hard to make eye contact with me, until he finally just came up to the elliptical in front of me and started STRETCHING on it! Like, doing squats while holding on to the side of the machine! Who does that?

Denise Lopatka said...

oh my goodness i'm dying of laughter. i needed this today. and i couldn't agree with you more.... ON EVERYTHING! love it.

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